Reviews:

Man on Mars
Prologue:

A non-fiction stream of consciousness, written entirely under the influence of psilocylibin mushrooms. Everything written transpired over a span of 4 days. I had to take a larger amount each day to elicit the same effect to reach a certain state of mind.

I’m listening to my album and it’s reminding me to enjoy my life, enjoy my time, & smile.

*anytime you see an asterisk cue music

Introduction:

Taking shrooms today, it is the last time I will ever take them. Something in my body is telling me, that this is no longer serving a benefit to my soul. Today’s trip is perfect, but that from this point forth there is nothing else the shroom can do for me to heal me any further. This doesn’t even feel like myself typing this, it almost feels like the shroom is talking to me through the written word and using me as a vessel.

Help me help me, I am screaming for help, no longer in control of my body, just kidding, but seriously.
I feel excellent actually, my back is straight, my posture is aligned, my head is held up high, I don’t have any fear and feel grateful for the day.
It’s interesting how every shroom trip I’ve had leading up to today has left me in tears at some point. Bawling with emotional trauma it forced me to face. today is the first time, that I did not have the same emotional reaction, and it was the first time I felt I was told to let shrooms go, from within. I no longer feel any longing for them, I feel fully content and satisfied and like they fulfilled a purpose, in healing me.

It’s really unexplainable, everything I went through with them and all the introspection. It was a topsy turvy ride when I think about it. Over a 100 shroom trips of at least a 1/2 eighth minimum.

Feels really good to be where I’m at though.
I have to say I have such a deep appreciation for shrooms, since the very first trip.

The very first trip, where was I? I can’t even remember, isn’t that funny?

You would think you would remember your first trip, but everything is sort of blended together these days.

You know life in general has a way of drifting, one day into the next, a continuation of life, that is forever moving, just as the hand on a clock never stops ticking never stops moving…until it does……

Make sure to bring a certain energy everyday.
To each and every moment since they all hold a lot of value.
If you feel unfulfilled, There’s a reason for it. That’s your body & mind reminding you that you’re not living up to your full Potential.

It’s a real thing - The feeling of being unfulfilled, and it’s temporary. Eventually you find fulfillment one way or another; your mind, body and soul, your spirit inside you, decides on a way to be fulfilled in this lifetime

I could tell you what I find fulfilling and meaningful, but that would be meaningless, because you have to figure that out for yourself, that’s not what this book is about, actually I don’t know what this book is about, because it is a stream of consciousness of everything that comes to my mind in this state of being.

chapter 1 intention:

setting your foundation
with intention

when you’re creating who you are
laying down the brick of yourself, as an individual, piece by piece, decision by decision.
You must do it with intention.
be yourself, don’t worry about anything else.
you have nothing to worry about, because you are who you are.

You are a unique individual processing this human experience exactly how you see it. Don’t let your perception fool you, or the man get you down.

Everything is what you make of it, and you have the power in your hands. You always have the power in your hands.
It’s okay to think about things and wait patiently, as you process the world around you, to decide what to do.

Your actions create you. Remember that you define who you are, and who you are, is defined by you and how you see yourself.
Know that you create yourself through your actions.

Greatness isn’t predetermined it is built, it is forged day in and day out through the grueling periods of doubt and despair.
You push yourself, because of no other reason than to keep on pushing, to become better, stronger, than who you were before, not because you have to, but because it is a natural process in defining who you choose to be.

You determine it all yourself. You’re not limited to living up to anybody else’s perception.
You’re not even limited to living up to your own perception of yourself

your perception of who you are is skewed, even your instincts and everything else are skewed, your beliefs are not set in stone, none of this, but you determine your values

and you can start at anytime

your not lost

you’re not out of focus

you are here presently

determine your fate with every action you take

remember that everything you do influences the world around you and the people around you and everything else there is in this world.

for example the other day I was running around a neighborhood park and I decided to run repeats up this hill. what are repeats? Repeats are when you run the same distance or location or whatever it may be multiple times, you repeat yourself.

I realized something just now

it’s not always about what you like

i’ts about what’s good for you. If it was about what you like, you would just be eating unhealthy food and snacks all the time, chips and candy, pizza and wings, whatever it is, cookies for every meal.

Instead you limit yourself and make good choices eating healthy items and that’s great because it gives your body the fuel it needs to accomplish whatever it sets out to accomplish.

Remember that the human body and mind rises to the task in front of it so you can accomplish everything you assign yourself to do. if you give yourself enough time and your patient about things. You have to act, there is no doubt about that, that action is what brings results, but there are things that transpire before action, that I think predetermine the trajectory at which you make an educated attempt to accomplish something.

DOn’t get me wrong you can do anything you set your mind to, in any which way, as long as you want to make it happen

greatness is built everyday, in the moments you don’t want to do something.

you have to trust the process

and trust in yourself

and believe in yourself

understand that you are leading yourself to greatness

you choose it everyday in your actions and your actions reflect what you think is right

don’t be afraid to speak up

don’t be afraid to act

fear is only a state of mind

relative to your perception

you create your fears for whatever reason. Some of the reasons are biological and related to survival, of course you have fear at the edge of a 90 foot drop, but that is momentary and you decide if you let the fear lead you, or you persevere and break through.

Everything is possible, when you believe it is so…When you believe in yourself.

Affirmation: I believe in myself Everything is possible

I am greatness. I have wisdom living within me. I allow my ancient inner self to guide me through my day to day life as I collect more knowledge and understanding for how to better live my life

and to leave this world in a better way than when I found it.

Chapter Next

you should only say something if you have something important to say

don’t be so hard on yourself or anybody else

don’t let the voice in your mind define you or talk you down or diminish you or your accomplishments in any way.

live the embody them and embrace everything that you are and everything that has brought you to this point. It’s time for you to make a newfound approach to life. Right now is a fresh start to the way you see life. if you have to do something drastic or major to make you feel the change do it. I am going to skydive in a couple of days to symbolically let you know how I feel facing my fears

and embracing the change that I feel in this world.

don’t be hard on yourself don’t chastise yourself encourage yourself to live and make mistakes we’re human it’s natural and instinctual for us to adapt to our surroundings and circumstances. to find a way to not only survive, but thrive. You are human, we make mistakes, I just said it. It’s factual and natural, we excel not because we are adept at minimizing our mistakes, but because f the sheer fact that we want, that we want to excel at anything we do. Whether it’’s about harmonizing life, or relationships, or anything there is in this world

do not limit yourself or allow your beliefs to limit you

possibilities in this world are endless

remember that it was people just like you and me that created this world

everything we do has an impact

the flap of a butterfly wing makes a difference

and you make a difference in this world

Everyone experiences inner turmoil I face it everyday, but I persevere through it, knowing that the bad days are temporary and good one’s are coming soon.

and when the good days are here enjoy them time is so precious the moments that matter are always left in tomorrows so what’s important is what’s in front of us, what we want to create, and the impact we want to leave on other’s around us. There are a lot of lonely people in the world that don’t know how to connect with other people because they’re afraid to, afraid of rejection, have the confidence and the courage to reach out to other people

we are all human and humanities interaction defines the timeline of the earth, the way that this world the next generations go is dependent on the day to dy to see that possibility of a better future.

ay interactions we have.

People are not set in their ways, old dogs do learn new tricks, you have to believe that change is a possibilit

if you see life as full of possibilities and opportunities you can create that opportunity for yourself

Don’t wait don’t put things off or give yourself an opportunity to procrastinate

get it done so you can have a clear mind

handling your responsibilities getting done what you want to get done will make you feel good, just make sure you’re doing things that your future self will thank you for

you are who you are

embrace it

embrace who you are at this very moment

accept yourself with all your flaws all your shortcomings and all your areas with room for improvement.

you don’t have to be any different than you already are you’re perfect just how you are, but if you want to embrace change that’s perfectly natural. Just make sure not to be hard on yourself as you take the steps to help yourself embrace that change

there will be times where you may revert to old habits or ways, but that only happens cause you haven’t fully committed to change you’re still in the process of changing so be understanding with that.

always remind yourself to be patient with yourself

treat the voice in your mind like someone you’re caring for and responsible for helping realize everything they are capable of and everything that is a possibility within them.

the people that make their dreams come true, are the people that are willing to jump off a cliff and have faith that there is water below, you don’t know how long you’re going to be falling for and you don’t know how long it will be til you hit the bottom and hope that it’s water and not earth.

why? because when you’re falling it’s like life, how you allow your mind to be filled with day to day despair and suffering who told you it was good to allow yourself to feel suffering who allowed you to believe it was okay to feel suffering? you don’t have to suffer any moment of any moment of any day and you don’t hav to put that on yourself put good feelings in your mind and heart and allow yourself to be you, when you embrace you that’s when you’ll find yourself becoming everything you were meant to be.

allow the process of growth to work in your life have a goal or an idea and allow it to come to fruition water it, nurture it

take the actions to make it happen

harness the power within

and unleash your true spirit

free of any judgment

of yourself or anybody else

that old adage when you point a finger at someone you have three pointing back at you try it

it’s reflective of how we have to take a hard look at ourselves for even making any kind of judgement on anybody else

I wonder if dogs know their name is their name? or if they think we’re just speaking gibberish?

I wonder if they understand us. Sometimes I feel like animals are watching me lately, because I have this camera that has up to 50-500 x zoom and i can see bugs, critters, birds, and any animals faces now. It’s funny cause when I point the camera lens at them they look at the camera. Even the birds will turn their head to look at me with one eye, and then turn their head the other way to look at me with their other eye. So they have to take notice of what we’re all doing out here.

there is this conspiracy that not all birds are real, that some are spies meant to watch over us all. I feel like I should clarify what a conspiracy theory is, a conspiracy theory is a view that is not held by the population at large. So any conspiracy theory is a belief not held by the population, not saying it’s true not saying it’s false, they are just theories that some people believe and some people don’t just like any belief in this world and it is up to our choosing. I like to believe birds are real, cause I don’t like to think the government is spying on me, but then again I have my webcam covered with a piece of paper 24/7 so who am I to talk.

On another note crows remember faces, they remember everyone they ever meet. I’ve also heard that we can’t dream of anybody’s face that we haven’t seen before, isn’t that mind blowing? I had never registered the people I see in my dreams are people I have seen in real life.

Real life including any people I’ve seen in youtube videos, social media, television, film, our whole perception of reality is no longer what’s in front of us. in my lifetime I have seen the world change in ways I could have never imagined.

day 1 - 3:04pm I feel like we can send messages to ourselves through writing and videos. They’re going to be here long after we’re gone and you can talk to your future self with whatever you write today that they see in the future.

the way we interact with the world is an extension of ourselves, so how are you going to extend yourself and interact with the world around you? what kind of energy do you want to bring to the table? Good Energy, energetic uplifting energy positive energy happy laughter energy and joy, the more you embody these qualities the more you attract that in your life

success and wellness you already have that. Next time somebody asks how you’re doing say, “I’m successful, how are you doing”?
greet em with happiness and a smile.

everything that you do, no matter what it is or what job it is, you should do it with a smile. Be happy to do it and have the opportunity to do it or change it if you don’t like it that’s okay too.

Where you invest your time you invest your life, only time is a man made construct to trap us in the idea of the past and the future. Remember that the only time to live is the moment we are presently living in. this is the only one that anything can happen out of.

If you feel lost, patiently keep working towards whatever it is, progress is like the roots of trees. My father told me, that a tree’s overhanging branches, the distance that they reach is how far the roots of the tree reach, I wonder if the roots are identical to the layout of the branches that would be far out. Imagine the plant had organically in it’s nature to grow where the roots mirror the branches overhead

I wouldn’t put it past the plant.

Plant’s are complex

Yet humans are supposed to be even more complex, but that’s where a lot of suffering comes from, trying to understand the complexity of nature and life, when it’s all really simple. You dwell over small things trying to understand why someone acted the way they did, or is acting the way they are, but they’re acting that way because that’s how they are, who they’ve allowed themself to be, and you can decide who you want to be by your reaction to anything and everything you experience today and everyday of your life, its incredible that you can change your life through your reactions too. That changing reactions are just as powerful as taking action.

Im going to say it again for emphasis changing your reaction is just as powerful as your action.

for example. Say there is a loving husband and wife and they are working everyday to grow together and creating their happiness in this world to share with one another. Sometimes they argue and yell, I know from personal experience you can be in a relationship where neither partner never yells at the other out of anger, you can always step away from a situation cool off and come back, there is wisdom in experience.

While when this wife is yelled at by her husband instead of yelling back, she changes her reaction, and chooses not to yell and does whatever else she feels she needs to to not add more fuel to the fire, to step away and allow her partner the space to cool off even if he is not taking that space for himself, if he is not taking that space for hisself or herself then it’s your responsibility to remove yourself from the situation

when you change you’re reactions you change your life

I’m sure this deescalates fights I’ve been through it, it works, and when you don’t tolerate the behavior of the other person, then they begin o change their behavior and no longer react the same way

Why do you think you allow yourself to hold onto hurt for so long? why do you think people harbor these past traumas and have trouble releasing moments that happened in their life that they embodied into their belief about who they are?

I don’t know, I can only speak from my own experience all the pain I’ve felt, all the emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental trauma I have experienced as hard as it was to face the days that followed some of these moments that happened. You wake up, you rise up, and you get through the day, feeding yourself, practicing good hygiene, developing a routine & healthy habits nurturing yourself as best as you can as you get through whatever is troubling you or keeping you down. It’s like you’re carrying a big boulder on your back, but as you work through embracing who you are and working through whatever issues you feel you have, you release them, you eventually release them and I believe you can release them at anytime. Understand whatever traumas you had may be triggered by current things that happen current experience you have

but you can choose to not identify with whatever is transpiring and understand that it is not a part of you, when you have a strong sense of self and a strong sense of identity, values, understand who you are, who you choose to be, you can choose not to accept other people’s perceptions of yourself

even your own perception of yourself I think I touched base on it earlier, you need to change it to reflect where you envision yourself and live that out.

the right tools are crucial

what do I mean? that when I do anything the right tool makes it easier. what are tools? anything that helps me accomplish a certain purpose to achieve a certain outcome, that’s how I see it.

you never know the last time you’ll get laid, appreciate every moment and fully embrace every second be present bring your mind to the moment that’s happening in front of you don’t go on autopilot, any of us could die tomorrow we never know when we’ll go so appreciate what you have in front of you while you have it

age is only a number and we are the life in our years

stream of consciousness

this makes me wonder

should couples have sex everyday? if they could die tomorrow and this could be there last day together? why not if they’re both up to it

should it be mandated? forced? absolutely not. If someone doesn’t want to have sex they don’t have to, even if you’re married. anything I felt inspired to write I did. It’s how I brought it to fruition.

we might think that doing something may seem insignificant at times, even I felt this way about writing this book, like what’s the purpose is there any real reason to it, but again you decide what the reason is, I decide what to put in the book, but you interpreted it however you wanted i could have put a number of messages in here

any number of messages

It brings me back to that question, is everything a coincidence? or is it all divine timing? Kismet(Fate)

is it circumstantial or destined to happen

why did I decide to include what I did in this book, honestly I can’t even remember what I wrote it feels so long ago, but I know I won’t edit anything out, I’ll leave it as it is as my own stream of consciousness over these period of days.

mushrooms always remind me how to slow down

sat and watched the sunset with my dog and then he ran on the grass chasing rabbits

these are the moments that remind me, to be human is to just be and experiencing everything around us as we interact with our environment how we decide to choose and what’s important to us in this reality

mushroom man 7:03 pm

just had the idea of a pasta sandwich shop spaghetti with meatballs

alfredo with mushrooms and broccoli

lasagna sandwich

creamy pesto tortellini on bread

idk could it work?

sounds good

day 2

I’m going to relinquish my birthday

and age

I understand I’ll have to keep track of my date of birth for medical forms and important documents

but I want to lose track of my age. yes it is only a number, but I realize I have preconceived notions for how someone should be at certain ages. I want to let that go, and try to absorb the experience of being me without an age concept.

I no longer am going to celebrate my day of birth. everyday is a celebration of life. Celebrate everyday.

remember you should only say that which is worth saying….

fear is a state of mind

your actions determine your reality

what’s amazing about t the book today, yesterday it felt entirely natural, today I feel my conscious mind now trying to assemble a message or determine why it is writing what it decides to write

*I’m listening to prototype by outkast, the first time I saw them in concert I was by myself dancing across a large grassy field

bounding and laughing singing along as I enjoyed the vibes of the music. You know when you’re just living life and going with the flow of the movements and allowing your body to flow

reminding myself to not judge me

just allow me to be me

that truth right there

you’re right

i don’t know if there are multiple personalities in everybody, but it feels like there are multiple personalities in me at times, that certain days I wake up and I don’t know which one is the one that will be taking charge that day, but they’re all me, it’s almost like there are seperate compartments to myself and the portions of who i am as an entire soul and being has been compartmentalized into different sections that under certain circumstances are allowed o come to life. There are other elements to your self that you put in a drawer or a shelf and then you just let it go, but I wonder if that portion of yourself, even if it is unused or left alone, does it grow in the shadows?

wow that felt dark all of a sudden, haha. no worries Though actually feel like there aren’t multiple personalities to people I think we are all just one being that experiences an entire range of emotions and feelings because of the environment and things that happen right in front of us.

I want to remind you to feel uplifted, love the people you love, call the people you care about, let them know that someone is thinking about them, I think people are dying of loneliness everyday. I don’t know what it is but it feels like the world is becoming more and more disconnected, but I think that it was just me disconnecting from the world, no longer understanding my place in the world

but I understand that we create our place in the world

wow it feels like I’m typing like fire my fingers are speeding across the keyboard

eat your fiber

i recommend oatmeal and walnuts. I eat it every morning, it’s become my favorite meal. I usually add frozen fruit on top or mix it in, but oatmeal and walnuts together is a complete protein, and gives you all the essential amino acids your body can’t produce on it’s own.

if you want to see the world, then go see the world, you’ll figure out a way to do what you want to do, when you really want to do it. You hav to know what you want, then you have to go for it. Everything outside of what you want isn’t in alignment with your goals. If you can evaluate yourself and look at your actions objectively and related to your goal, you can increase productivity and your ability to accomplish whatever it is will happen faster

but we’re human and it’s natural to be human you don’t have to become a robot to accomplish any one goal, I think it’s better to accept your behavior as who you are and to continue to grow naturally and not force that growth. when you have good intentions and do good

you do it not for any reason than to do it.

you do it because that’s what was right to you at that time. If it is not, it is not.

when inspiration hits you go with it

whatever it is flow with it.

trust that instinct.

Believe in yourself say it aloud.

Speak affirmations.

Life isn’t anything other than what is happening right now in front of you. Life exists in these moments happening around us. I say this with emphasis so you can train yourself to be present.

if your dreams goals don’t get you up every morning and inspire you to get after it

change em

i’m telling you you can find that inspiration everyday

you can accomplish everything you set out to do

you determine the value of anything in your life and you determine where there is meaning.

detachment is the number 1 way to accomplish a goal.

would you sacrifice your soul to achieve a goal? people do, at what cost

there is no judgement

other than no judgement

i’m not here to change you or encourage you to be one way or another i am just sharing my thoughts on a shroom trip

a ladybug landed on my laptop

move everyday as much as possible whatever it is

a body in motion stays in motion

hard work is always going to be hard work

and all work is hard work

the harder you work

the more you put in

the more you get out

but when you love the work the you do

you enjoy the feeling of the hard work

you do it for the sake of doing it and wanting to do it regardless of results

when you do something regardless of an outcome

there is infinite possibilities for what it could be

listen to the songs, mind sex & be healthy, by dead prez

I’m teaching my dog not to lick I know it’s gonna work

you create your opportunities everyday and the possibilities are endless it is all available to you

how do you help other people?

no fear

no hesitation

only the moment right now

get after it

make it happen

that’s what it’s all about right?

just living each day about whatever you want.

the movies we watch give us stories about things, the shows we watch give us insight into what it feels like to live other lives, all this media allows us to get a sense of what it feels like to be anyone other than ourselves, without most of us realizing it

it’s because our mirror neurons mimic whatever we’re watching

your mirror neurons are firing off in the same way as the person on the television just not at full blast

there’s a reason why they call tv an escape from reality

it keeps us from living presently it takes our focus off our lives and puts it elsewhere same with the internet and social media and radio any form of entertainment

now that I think about it though it’s not an escape from reality it is an extension of our reality and what’s in front of us

see that’s how easy it is for somebody to create a judgement in their lives

I shouldn’t be here influencing you to not watch tv

but mirror neurons fire off when we watch anybody do anything

even in person if you see someone do a backflip

your mirror neurons are mimicking theirs

when you hold hands with somebody you’re brainwaves sync up

isn’t that cool? you begin to live on the same frequency that’s pretty insane when you think about it

yin and yang

“in all that is good there is a little bit of bad

and in all that is bad there is a little bit of good”

it’s all relative to your perception good and bad

if a baby is born in this world with no influence of what this world is, does it know good from bad?

the more questions you ask in this life the more questions you’re left with

it doesn’t matter whether you find the answers or not you’re still left with more questions

it’s better to enjoy the unknown the speculation and appreciate it for what it is as you try to discover answers and meaning to you

that’s part of the beauty of experience

create a plan work your plan

day 4

I trimmed my armpits for a pool party a couple days ago

didn’t want to show up full bush you know

and now my armpits are sweating like crazy. It’s like the hair was there to keep the sweat from dripping lol

once you do something

once you see something you can’t unsee it

you can’t unfeel it

but the feeling you hold onto or the things you carry with you everyday that’s your choice for whatever reason

usually when we feel pain there is good reason for it right?

like if you put a hand on a stove then your hand burns and you don’t do it again right? i think that’s how we are supposed to treat emotional pain too, it’s like our bodies are trying to tell us something we are experiencing is not right. So that you can remove yourself from whatever is causing that feeling at that time

What was it that Maya Angelou said, don’t give people a second chance to show you their true colors.

Also remember, that you never have to look outside of yourself, for any guidance or mentorship or understanding, everyone is walking their own path, mentors help if you have an interest in that field or business or art that the other person is in. Having a teacher, sensei is useful. What I’m saying is that you could do it regardless of whether or not you have someone there to hold you accountable

we each hold ourselves accountable for what we need to get done and what we want to get done. There is a difference between wants and needs.

remember to ask yourself what you want vs what you need?

what do you stand for?

when you say “I don’t have time” you’re actually saying “that’s not a priority for me”

so if it is a priority for you you can always offer a better time that works for you

you have nothing to worry about remember that

don’t leave for tomorrow what you could do today

let it go

enjoy yourself

Don’t create conflict for yourself

BREAK THE PATTERN OF JUDGING YOURSELF - that would be a good shirt to wear I’m going to order one, let me know if you want one too

You are on your own timeline

and the best is yet to come!

with anything we do in life we have the choice to do it or not

some of us make the same choice everyday to do the same thing

and we don’t see results

but sometimes results aren’t visible or tangible.

sometimes the results you have from working on something isn’t something you can hold onto consciously. It’s something that you internalize through the process. It changes you. The process of doing whatever it is consciously choosing to do it affects and changes you.

I always come back to the working out example because working out is one of the few examples where when you put in the work you can see the results in real time even if it’s slower than you think, because you know it will work.

working out = you being in better shape

doesn’t matter what type of work whether you know what you’re doing or not you’re going to see results if you’re putting in work regularly.

the same goes with everything you do, it’s like a magnet and the more that you engage in the activity the stronger the magnet gets, until it reaches a point where the magnet get’s so strong that it starts to pull and attract the results you want into your life

keep in mind that even as it’s getting stronger it is slowly pulling whatever results you want closer to you

a few years back I stopped talking to everyone I knew and even isolated myself in terms of family. I did this because I heard the 5 people you spend the most time with are the 5 people you become most alike. Now in hindsight everything is clear, but at the time I was acting based off of my instincts and what felt right at the time.

I realized that when I no longer had any friends, when I stopped spending time with family, that I almost forgot how to socialize and interact with everyone and anyone for that matter. There were a lot of other factors involved at the time

and I know even me writing this it’s like this was my own perception of the situation at the time

my friends maybe didn’t even realize I stopped hanging out

my family i don’t know if they noticed I pulled away

but looking back I needed that time for myself. When I felt like I didn’t have anybody to talk to, or go to, and every morning was hard to get up and find the motivation to continue forward I realized something. It is never going to get easier. Wrong. It does get easier. You know what makes life more enjoyable? you. You make life more enjoyable. You add a lot to this world

When I spent all that time by myself, I learned to be comfortable alone. I analyzed every decision I made to see if I was making those choices, because of outside influences or they were my own conscious decision.

During that period though, through all my analysis I felt like I stripped myself of my soul. Without realizing it at the time.

It was like I was forcing myself to change and having to against the nature of myself to do so. I did it too. I was an entirely different person than who I was before. no better no worse, just different a new version of me.

now I’m in another period of my life and I can feel a different change. It’s like I’m slowly rediscovering elements of myself before I changed who I was. Except now It’s like I am a combination of the foundation I built over the last few years blended with the heart of myself, to form an entirely new me. It’s incredible how much we change in our day to day life. We are constantly changing ourselves without conscious thought. Everything we do changes us subtly

Earlier I was on a run, and then I went for a bike ride, and played some basketball, and after that I lifted weights for a bit and hit abs

I hate exercising, but I love how it makes me feel.

is there anything you hate doing, but you have love for?

yeah, my spouse

hahaha I’m just kidding imagine? that would be crazy if somebody said that even as a joke, what’s the point?

when we say stuff and we joke around I know it’s in jest and there’s no harm, but the thing is you never really know how something you say might affect someone and you never really know how someone is doing before you say something to them.

I don’t understand some of the things people say, but see that is just it! we’re not meant to have to understand everything,

people aren’t meant to be understood, even though we want to feel understood.

we want clear cut answer’s for things, because we want to be able to process them.

relate & understand, but we don’t need answers, because there are no questions needed to be asked

everything speaks for itself.

also no matter what kind of work you do, work is work, and hard work is hard work, and it’s always going to be that way. There’s nothing wrong with working hard. We should work hard it helps us get stronger, but more than working hard, we should be working smart.

The world is moving forward

and we are moving with it.

our thoughts shape our reality (THIS IS THE BIGGEST FACTOR FOR DETERMINING EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE)

our thoughts are the key to success and the door to failure.

my thoughts right now….

We close our eyes

and we sleep at night

only we are never truly asleep.

Our bodies are always working, and never truly shut off.

The heart pumps blood, the lungs breathe air

as our body rests and our mind dreams, everything is still functioning and happening

It’s like an electric vehicle that needs to recharge every night.

Only it feels like a rental to me…

does it feel that way to you?

Every morning when I wake up, it feels like I am a spirit awakening in this body, but even my spirit feels like it’s different sometimes…

I mean I know I have this physical form everyday. It’s just that it feels like sometimes I have different people renting my body

and they control my mind

even though my thoughts are all being processed by the same brain

so it still feels like there is continuity between the people renting this body

its like person A, rents my human vessel for monday, person B for Tuesday, and I’m like a human sim, mind blown, just realized why they called sims, sims. it’s probably in reference to the simulation. We are sims in the simulation….yes or no? lol

Anyways I feel like I am a sim being rented sometimes, and whoever is controlling me outside of this video game is helping me grow as a person, becoming stronger mentally, physically, and emotionally everyday.

hoping me cultivate and create the person I aspire to be.

I feel like everyday I’m here on this earth, that I am discovering more of who I am

I just got off the phone with my mom. Love that woman, she is a light in the dark, an angel in this world.

12 months ago I started trading. I started with the free stock that robin hood gives you when you sign up with a referral. it was valued at $2.80 cents. That stock hit $4 and I sold. I then bought a new stock with you guessed it $4.
I slowly turned $4 into over $400. This took me around 8 months to do. Then I remembered a quote about investing “if you only had 20 opportunities in your life to invest where you were going to make money from it, would you recognize the opportunity?

Then I saw what I thought was one of these opportunities, and I took that money and invested it in Doge. I knew Doge was created as a joke. I didn’t see it as it going to take off. I had the impression that I didn’t want to miss out on what could’ve been, so I took the risk and poured a portion of the money in there. Now that is where I am seeing the majority of my current gains.

Presently my 2.80 free stock from robin hood is sitting at over 2000 dollars in profit. I don’t plan on selling it anytime soon, because for me I have nothing to lose and everything to gain…

I’m not an expert trader I have very little knowledge in it all actually, but I’m telling you all this, because I want you to know it’s possible! that you don’t need a lot of money to invest to make it happen. That I stated with less than 5 dollars an amateur with no experience or knowledge. Just be patient and learn as you go and teach yourself trust your instincts and only put money in that you’re willing to risk losing.

Something else, I did read one book about finance the psychology of money. there’s some valuable info in there that the gentleman shares that helped me get a different perspective on trading.

Make sure to bring a certain energy everyday
To each and every moment since they all hold a lot of value

If you feel unfulfilled

There’s a reason for it. That’s your body & mind reminding you that you’re not living up to your full Potential

It’s a real thing

The feeling of unfulfilledness and it’s temporary eventually you find fulfillment one way or another your mind body and soul your spirit inside you decides on a way to be fulfilled in this lifetime

I could tell you what I find fulfilling and meaningful, but that would be meaningless, because you have to figure that out for yourself

I’ve asked over 10,000 people for their best advice, whatever wisdom they would be willing to share and out of 10,000 there was one person, one gentleman, he struck me profoundly with his words, because his response was unexpected to me I had heard it all up to this point

He said “son, I don’t have any advice for you, your life is yours to live, yours to figure out, & experience”

you decide how to interpret it

But it’s amazing how years can go by before we fully understand and comprehend the power in the words that someone might have said

Don’t believe everything you see and read

Try to minimize any consumption remember that if you’re not creating you’re consuming

And everything you consume affects your mentality

There’s a lot of power in self help books for helping yourself to be a better self

There’s wisdom in the words of experience

Wow that sounded good. There’s Wisdom in the words of experience. Quote me on that one if you ever use it or put it on a shirt.

When inspiration strikes

Like lightning You go with it as you flow with it inspiration is phenomenal in helping you accomplish a goal in a short amount of time

It will inspire you to have the focus to proceed with what you’re doing

And you know if something feels wrong or right

Remember that feeling it helps guide us to what’s right for us, help us find comfort and room to grow

When inspiration strikes like a match

You light it

And help that fire grow

You see the match thrown on a bunch of logs and it ignites all the wood creating a vortex of fire

No that’s not how it happens at all

To make a fire you set up your logs and tinder and kindling and you light the match and then you slowly build the fire and protect it and help it get stronger giving it either air or protection from the wind and maybe kindling whatever it may be as it slowly heats up the wood gradually getting hotter in temperature until finally the wood is starting to burn and even then it doesn’t start a fire. enough of the wood has to burn to catch and create a fire

It’s a gradual process, just like your life is a gradual process and what you want it to stand for and who you create yourself to be and who you define yourself as

It’s all gradual, no matter what age you’re at you’re still growing in this process and learning there are things we learn everyday

How to be kinder to those around you

How to uplift those around you

How to take care of yourself

How to set healthy boundaries

How to empower yourself to believe in you

These are a few things that come to mind that you can never stop working out and getting stronger at just like working out your muscles and working out your mind

You have to work out you...

Sometimes you need

to leave things be and let it work itself out

By that I mean give whatever it is space and then come back to it and get it done

Refresh your mind and give yourself a break an opportunity to work around whatever it is

Wisdom in the words of experience

OM at the bottom

I heard that we don’t choose our pets that they choose us that we somehow end up with them

And I believe that more and more everyday cause of my dog

It was meant to be a soulmates for sure bred from the same cloth

Probably why it feels so good when we’re

running both of us sprinting as fast as we can neither one of us wanting to let up for the other one

It feels like how I imagine a pack of dogs or wolves feel when they’re running with their pack

It’s incredible stride for stride foot for paw

It’s moments like that that make me feel so alive

Wish I could hold onto that feeling sometimes when you feel like you’re floating on air

And you never want to come down

Reality is only limited by your perception

I have decided to no longer keep track of time unless for coordinated events

I’ll let you know how that goes

Live as much as the present as possible moment to moment

Wake up naturally

Go from one activity to the next led by what feels right at the time

Don’t know if that’s the right thing to do but I trust my instinct

Been wanting to night hike and it just reminded me of when my buddy and I went and there were bats and one swooped down towards us and he got scared

Day 2

Can’t remember the last time I took mushrooms on consecutive days I know it’s been at least 5 years

Wow where do the years go

The memories

You know what’s cool about photos?

they capture a moment in time

That’s phenomenal when you think about it, it’s like a tangible memory.

Music always makes me feel like I’m traveling in time too

Songs take me back to certain moments of my life where I was doing something and listening to that song

Let me see if I can explain myself better, when I hear a song, my mind begins to remember another moment of my life when I heard it. The moment may have been 10 years ago and I was driving down a highway. I get the same feeling of that moment when I hear it and it makes me feel like I traveled in time because of the song.

I want to clarify that time doesn’t exist in my mind. It feels like you travel in time, because you’re reminded of that moment, in reality you’re living your experience and it’s an entirely different experience and even your memory of that moment is skewed and you remember it how you saw it.

Our memories aren’t as accurate as we believe them to be

Remember the study where people had to recall what kind of car was involved in an accident and they thought it was blue when it was red. Don’t forget how unreliable what we see really is. Go with what you feel.

1hr in day 2

I can feel my jaw

And my mouth and hands.

Everything is clear.

Even as I type this it is like looking at my fingers with high definition.

I don’t have my glasses on.

Always be conscious of your thoughts and what’s pushing you to do something you can fight the urge

I heard that they are doing studies on the bacteria in our stomachs. There is thought that the bacteria in our stomachs influence our decision making

Don’t ask for other people’s perceptions and don’t judge yourself for what you do

You did it you did it

Live it

I love wearing my white Nike air forces for watering the vegetables they said they liked them when they saw me wear them the first Time

How can I create a shoe that is formless but good for flat feet

And feels like you’re not wearing shoes? How can I make that happen?

How can I purchase an abandoned mall and renovate the spaces to be arcades, and bars, and themed hotel rooms, with activities for people to do so they can hop around to each store which is now a cool spot

Gonna wash my car

Shrooms always make me want to clean everything up

Get rid of any clutter

And make sure I’m treating myself right and Taking care of things right

Cue *lovely day by bill withers funny it reminds me of my niece Alyssa she’s hilarious always had a way of making everybody laugh

Good memories

We backpacked in Thailand

I’ll never forget that trip it was a blast so many laughs

Trip of a lifetime

It doesn’t matter how much you’re working out

If you’re not eating right (caloric mins) you won’t lose weight

Weight maintenance is nice

You don’t have to workout in dedicated segments

You can just work out throughout the day whenever you feel like it feels like freedom

1234

765

567

I wonder if it’s probability to the choices we make or if it’s destiny meant to be

To enjoy the process of reading I have to ceremoniously set up for it

Have a nice place to sit or lie down and have a nice drink or a joint or something to really engross myself in it and enjoy make a memory of it all

Live the moment

Whatever it is live it

Work will still be there when opportunity knocks answer and take it live be alive

Don’t ever allow yourself to live a life of quiet desperation

That is your soul calling out for change!

3:19 pm

At my brothers pad going to go to a day pool party

I was in the lobby of his building and had to use the restroom really bad so I asked the guy at the front desk if he could unlock the restroom

he did and so when I opened the door there was a guy in the restroom & he screamed lmao

Vintage culture and Franco Afro house remix

Today I ended up going to a party At this 3 story house took a bunch of shrooms smoked a bunch of weed

And spent some quality time with my lil bro

Went to a party with a bunch of stripper poles and then to the club jungle

I hat can I say to just go with the flow appreciate everything in front of you

Don’t care about anything

Don’t have any attachment or anything or ascribe any feelings

You don’t have to attach emotions to events or things you experience they are most likely preconditioned

I’m on the 38th floor just relaxed listening to music and dancing and having a good time living

I’m at a club now enjoying the moment

I everything always comes down to whatever you want and whatever results you want

You don’t have to have any stress in this life

Stress shorten’s your life sometimes so slowly you don’t even notice it, but it’s not too late

Every day is a new day everyday is a new day that you’re born

Yesterday feels like a blur

I guess that’s how most days really feel

The more days I live the more the days just blend together

You can’t force things or hold onto things

Detachment allows for appreciation

How? Detachment in the sense that you know something is temporary you’re not attached to the idea that something is permanent you have more appreciation for it in the meantime

Even when you feel like you’re not making progress, you are, remember that. You never know how anything is working out, just know that it is

The best way to increase your physical fitness is not by spending more time in the gym, it’s by adding exercise throughout your day, incorporating it into your life whenever you can. For example doing squats/push-ups/pull-ups while you wait for the microwave to finish

But it can be anything, like walking by a pull up bar and doing pulls ups, or wall sits every time you enter your bedroom, or whenever you walk into the kitchen doing stretches, or stand up while you work instead of sitting down...or if you’re standing in line do squats

My balls hurt when I jump rope with no underwear

You can’t just speak your inspiration

You have to live your inspiration

Whatever it may be

Follow that desire entirely

With all your heart embrace the essence of what that is

I think I’m going to live in 3 centuries. Also think I’m going to die at age 118

I was in the Uber last night

And there was a Karen & Lexi

Started yelling out the window and said she was a powdery breast milk ass having bitch

Hard to have an existential crisis when you’re absorbed in living

My shroom trip was lik a 24 hour double dose

I feel like I was a mushroom all day

I don’t know how it happened but my bro Calle dime up

And I went to his pad and then to a pool party

It was a 3 story house

There were women walking around in lingerie, doing pole dances

There was plenty of alcohol

And tacos

Gave the taco man a beer

Held some snakes

Drank some alcohol

Had a good time

Then we ubered back to the pad and hit the club

“Meet me in the cluhh it’s going down

Anywhere you meet me guaranteed it’s going down”

Followed that up with bottle service at the club and some vegan mushroom tacos

After that we went back to the pad and chilled

It was great meeting new people, building on the connections I already have and getting the quality time with my little bro

Day 3

I miss my snake

I was holding some snakes last night and now I miss my snake.

Work smart not hard

Financial freedom

Have your money work for you

Make money in your sleep

I just got my covid vaccine

What a time we are living in

Also feel like I’m going to live to 118

To take an opportunity you must recognize an opportunity

The best is yet to come

Light always shines brightest in the dark

Mushrooms helped me release all my addictions and anything that was holding me back from being my authentic self

When I am sober

People always ask me if I’m high

But when I am high

Nobody asks me if I’m high

Today I’m going on a hike

Not taking my phone

I’ve been leaving it more and more I know it fills a void for a lot of us and we take it with us everywhere

I’m feeling that I need a phone less and less and it’s nice not having to carry it around everywhere or worry about misplacing it or wahatver even though I didn’t really think that stuff before

It’s like even less now

I’ve been spending all this time writing while on mushrooms not an easy task by the way

I’ve tried handwriting stuff and it’s just scribbles have to type it

But mushrooms aren’t about anything they’re just a tool to help you live in the present moment and to absorb and soak that all in.

They’re sacred to me

In the past I took em with purpose of healing

Anything that feels wrong isn’t right for you

You don’t have to impress anyone

You don’t have to wear certain clothes

Meaningful people will accept you for you and your life doesn’t matter how much you spend on material things

People say this stuff all the time, but it’s one thing to say and another to embody it.

When you’re comfortable with who you are, it doesn’t matter what you wear or what you say. There is acceptance for yourself being yourself and that should give you confidence to be you. There isn’t anybody else like you

If someone doesn’t like you for you being you, you won’t even notice if they hating

Cause you’re too busy loving yourself

I had my vaccine today

I didn’t have any negative symptoms

But I almost experienced a blowout on multiple occasions

So I told you recently how I decided to give up my age, so far I have met some people where age came up, and I didn’t share, and the reaction was awesome, they were super cool about it and understanding and didn’t pressure me to tell them so It makes me feel more comfortable moving forward

These past 4 days

Have been nothing short of a whirlwind

It’s all been a blur

But I think that’s how everyday that we leave behind us feels

I actually didn’t know what to write for most of this book, I had no intention when I wrote it other than to write whatever I felt like writing

This morning I didn’t even want to take the shrooms before I wrote today, because I didn’t feel like I needed them.

I am extremely grateful for everyone in my life.

There is this impression, that some people are “lost”

People aren’t lost in life. You discover life through the moments you create and fill your time with

The same way you discover who you are when you embody more and more of yourself, and as you continue to grow and change as a person.

Even people that are 100 or older are still learning and growing. We can’t help it, cause it’s in our nature

It’s a natural organic process.

Notable things

Today was my first day not smoking weed.

Feels good to be embracing a new chapter.

I feel like I broke the chains of my past and

Found freedom

I hope that whatever you have going on in your life that you make time for the people that matter to you.

You learn to accept and love yourself through all the trials and tribulations.

In the end we all pass away eventually, and leave this physical form. Any one of us can go at any time.

Don’t hesitate to speak what is on your mind

April 19, 2021

A year after I finished my first book, and the day I finished my second.

Tomorrow I am going sky diving.

Feels like I’m really starting this new chapter in my life the right way

I am creating happiness in my life everyday by choosing to be happy

I am taking care of myself and treating my body like a temple, because the more I treat myself right, the more I attract what’s right for me in this life

Our beliefs shape our reality

What we believe this world to be is what we see.

We make expectations and look for things to fit the mold, and confirm that bias of what we think we see.

It’s called Confirmation Bias.

In other words you are already successful and have all that you want in life if you believe that.

You remind yourself of that belief until you embody it and internalize it.

Then it is no longer something you have to consciously think about and your life is already headed down a new path full of whatever you want to find

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this book.

I don’t really like to read, but I love to read, cause of the knowledge and information I take from whatever I read. Fiction non fiction doesn’t matter there is always something of value and meaning in everything when you look for it

I remember I heard this quote from mark cuban. He said, something like “I never hesitated to buy a book for 20, 30 dollars, because if there was at least one piece of information in there that I hadn’t heard about before, it was worth it”

That really impacted me at the time, because I realized that one piece of information can change your entire trajectory in life

Who you were that was never exposed to that information

And who you are after you’ve been exposed are two different people

You’re mind has been expanded at that point and there’s no going back

Imagine that one fact of information, could’ve made you a millionaire?! I mean possibilities in life are endless right? We are only defined by the limits we set in our minds

The parameters of everything we experience is defined by what we believe is possible

Does society limit what we believe is possible?

Is there a collective consciousness that we all share?

Like how the moon influences the tides...I wonder if we are influenced by it’s position too

Even though there hasn’t been any research to prove it

I would be willing to bet that it does affect us.

I mean, I know for a fact that the sun affects me if I sit outside too long I’m a get tan and then burnt and dehydrated

But 10 minutes in the sun does wonders for people’s health and vitamin D

And that’s a fact. So there’s got to be other ways that our environment is affecting us that we aren’t even aware of

On a grand scale and the local one, where you eat, sleep, and live

8:07pm April 19 2021

Always kiss with passion

& Act out of love

I hope you continue to have a beautiful life, that you live each moment, remember what’s meaningful to you, and always prioritize your life according to your values and what’s important to you.

Don’t ever diminish your self or your accomplishments.

Anything you do in this world, even waking up is an accomplishment in itself.

Celebrate the big victories and celebrate the little one’s even more.

Until next time!

The mushroom man 🍄

Post script

I’m skydiving this morning

And yesterday somebody died in California skydiving in San Joaquin county...I saw the article last night right before I went to bed.

Seeing my name Shook me for a second haha.

Breakdown’s lead to breakthroughs